i wrote a post a few months ago about choosing to have a caesarian birth, but ended up deleting it because i felt incredibly self-conscious about it. i saw women being shamed for it on pregnancy forums. i worried about well meaning friends and family trying to talk me out of it. i stressed about being labeled “too posh to push”. i didn’t want to contend with all that judgment, and hand-wringing, so i figured i’d just be quiet about this choice, go ahead with it, and just not tell people it was planned form the start.
but that kind of sucks.
we got to choose our baby’s birthday yesterday, and i was so excited, but i felt like i couldn’t tell people because then they would know that i was doing this terrible, unfeminine thing.
i’ve been interrogating my feelings and have come to the conclusion that i have to take the same approach to this as i do about coming out* – just fucking do it. be out, and be unapologetic, because hiding it or being ashamed of it is only letting the judgmental and the bigoted oppress you.
so, yeah. i’m having a scheduled caesarian. i’m doing so for medical and psychological reasons. these reasons are my own, and i do not need to have them approved by anyone else. i am completely comfortable with my choice, and my partner and my ob/gyn are too. i have done a metric arseload of reading on the topic, and i understand the risks as well as the benefits. i feel empowered by the fact that i have made this choice for myself.
expect me to talk more about it in future, because preparing for a scheduled caesarian is a really interesting and different process to preparing for a vaginal birth. and because talking about stuff like this is important – it shows that you’re not ashamed.
here’s a related article: ‘i had a c-section and i loved it’, by barrie hardimon
*i want to stress that this is my approach, and i am not suggesting this is the only right way to do things. i completely understand that for some people it’s not safe, desirable, or important to be out to any or all of the people they know and i respect that this is a very personal choice.