so, we waited.
and now a series of events have transpired, and baby-making is back on the agenda!
i am so unspeakably excited! i’m actually having to consciously distract myself from the whole thing from time to time, because i don’t want it to be the only thing i ever think and talk about.
having said that, there’s a lot to read, and a lot to plan, and i’m glad i’m getting on that.
one book that has been invaluable so far is the new essential guide to lesbian conception, pregnancy & birth by stephanie brill. it has many things to recommend it.
- the language used is not only queer friendly, but trans friendly. it makes no assumptions about the structure of the family that you are trying to create.
- brill not only discusses the physiology of conception, pregnancy and birth, but acknowledges the emotional and psychological side of it as well. she does this with the experience of queer people in mind. for example:
“looking deep inside your body [using a speculum] is an incredibly intimate experience. thinking of doing so can make you feel very vulnerable. it can feel scary for people who are uncomfortable with vaginal penetration, or for those who have a history of sexual abuse or assault. you’re not a failure if you choose not to use a speculum to monitor your cervix…”
- the book is comprehensive. it covers everything from pre-conception considerations to post-partum care. there are useful tables and diagrams, and everything is explained clearly. i have learned so much about my own body by reading it, and the resources included, such as the fertility chart are so useful.
- brill acknowledges and celebrates the variability among women and their bodies. she uses lots or real-life examples to illustrate the fact that we’re all individuals who will experience these processes differently. you’re not made to feel weird or defective if you have a shorter or longer than average cycle, or if you ovulate more than once a month. it’s very reassuring!