Last time I posted about our progress towards making baby number two, we had found a donor. Or, more accurately, a donor had found us. G had been in touch after reading the blog, and we were putting the finishing touches on our donor agreement.
Since then, not much has happened. I’ve continued to keep track of my cycle, working out when I’ve been ovulating, and gathering together all the little bits and pieces of information that will help us time insems as effectively as possible when the time comes.
G went off and got all his tests done, as we’d agreed (and as he was going to do anyway, as he’s approaching a milestone birthday, and wanted to have a general physical in light of that). I was thinking of this aspect of the agreement as a formality more than anything else. Something you do just to be on the safe side, and then tick off your list of “things conscientious family makers do”. But G’s tests didn’t all come back clear. He’s got one health concern that he’ll need to follow up on before we can begin.
This sucks for him, because having to deal with illness is always worrying and frustrating. And it sucks for us too, because it stalls our plans.
It’s June, and we were going to begin in July.
SJ and I were both starting to get properly excited, and we’re having to curb that a little now. Most likely it will only be a short delay – we may only have to start a cycle later than we were planning to – but there’s an outside chance that this will be a deal breaker, and that possibility is lurking persistently at the corners of my mind.
A major upside to this turn of events is the further boost of confidence it’s given us in our donor, and our relationship with him. He has handled this exactly as we’d have hoped he would. He got in touch with us straight away and talked it through. He was entirely forthcoming, and willing to give us any information we needed, without being precious, cagey, defensive, or weird (which, let’s be honest, it’s very easy to be when you’re talking about personal stuff).
Given that, first and foremost, this is something that is happening to him, in his body, his response shows presence of mind, thoughtfulness, and a genuine commitment to the agreement we all made.
So, new areas of uncertainty have presented themselves, but in practical terms, things continue on here as they have for the last few months. I keep tracking, and we wait.
In the mean time, G gets further tests done, finds out the details of what he’s dealing with, and sets about organising whatever treatment may be necessary.
Oh, and I get to keep drinking full-strength coffee, so there’s another upside right there.