this week the baby is the length of a banana (though hopefully a lot fatter!), and we are officially half way through the pregnancy.

we had a checkup with our ob/gyn and discussed a bunch of stuff, the most important of which was the birth itself. we’ve scheduled the date (the 20th of january), which i’m thrilled about, and we got to ask some questions, and express our wishes about the procedure. for example:

  • i wanted to know about the specific sounds, smells, sensations i will experience as the procedure takes place, so that i can prepare myself for what it will be like (i got a lot of information about this from my reading, but wanted to discuss it with our doctor as well).
  • i wanted to make sure that my doctor would use stitches rather than staples to close up, and she said that she never uses staples, so that was a relief. staples seem particularly barbaric to me, though i’m sure they have their place in some form of surgery.
  • we asked if we could bring our own music to have on during the procedure, and we can, so that will help give us something to focus on and reduce the anxiety factor (now to make an amazing playlist!)
  • we want the baby to be placed on my chest immediately, and not be taken away for tests and measurements unless there is something very wrong (and there is no reason, at this stage, for us to think that there will be). we made this very clear, and also stipulated that if i am unable to hold the baby, s will.

our doctor told us that the anesthetist they have rostered on for the day of the surgery is one of the best and was very happy that we got him. the epidural is the thing i am most apprehensive about in the whole process, so it’s reassuring to know i’ll be in good hands.
while we were there, we also checked my blood pressure, which has returned to normal, and flagged that we’d like to do a blood glucose test at our next appointment. i have a few of the risk factors for gestational diabetes, so it’s worth checking for.
finally, we had a listen to the baby’s heartbeat. every time i hear it (and i think this was only the third time) i feel completely overwhelmed. it’s so strange and lovely that there’s a person in there, with a heart and a brain, and all this incredible potential.

my tum is continuing to expand, and i definitely look pregnant unless i wear very loose fitting clothes. i got my first unsolicited horror-birth story from a random shop assistant today, which i guess is the result of looking pregnant. i should have said “well, that doesn’t really apply to me because i’m having a c-section” but i didn’t. in fact, that was the interaction that resulted in me finally deciding to write yesterday’s post. i wondered why i felt awkward about what this complete random would think of me, and realised that i didn’t care. liberating.

still really tired.
still clumsy.
getting kind of vaguer about things.

so i think everything’s on track!

only 5 more sleeps til the next big ultrasound. so excited!